Rattling Bits

Twisting turning in my brain.
Stomach guts churning

Sleepless on repeat as I yawn

I just want to drift away
So childish, so simple

I am so black and white focused because I live in the land of grey.
I am again stuck in between.

Health and illness
Prosperity and poverty
Sleep and insomnia
Desire and despair

I miss the men of my past.
I have no hope for the future.

"Tell me a story" I asked. I never ask the question I want.  "Do you want to hear a story?"

Or be even braver.  "Let me tell you a story."

There once was a woman who lived in her head.  She decided one day to come out and play.  Put on a pretty skirt and lovely shoes.  She danced her way into my life and I've never been the same.

Too much beer

What does one do when their most dangerous temptation is dead?

So late at night when you are drunk and your boundaries are lax, who do you call?

Who do you crave?

Crave the man made of ash in the box on your shelf?

It has been years now, YEARS I can say and yet, I still wait for a person to tempt me beyond my bedroom walls.  Someone to push my boundaries, someone to scare me just enough, but not too much.

Such a tight balance to walk, such a hard limit to live up too.

I have no hope, but still I dream of a past that once was, and future never to be.